For the Sake of Old Times

As refrains of Robert Burns' poem-turned-song Auld Lang Syne fade away, attention turns to the innate optimism of a new year. While anticipation of new goals and adventures is exciting, I can't help but look back on 2014 and recall experiences I had and the lessons I took away from them.

The year began with my dad's death in January. Not a great way to start things off, for sure. It set the tone for much sadness and grief, and the sadness is still there, just not as close to the surface. Through the sorrow I found myself with a new perspective on life, born from a weird mix of fog and clarity.  Part of this new perspective is the realization I don't want to spend time and energy doing things that aren't fulfilling. Of course, some tasks in life are necessary if not enjoyable. But given a choice, I've decided if something is not fulfilling I will move on.  There are too many options in life to stick with something that is not meaningful. This perspective is a gift from my dad and his gentle wisdom continues to guide me.

I need structure to be successful.  Funny how it can take a long time to recognize the obvious! Daily itineraries, goals, training plans, menus-without these things I find I'm not driven to accomplish much of anything. If I want to achieve goals, stay fit and be there for my family I need structure. I love to be spontaneous but too much of it and I have a hard time getting things accomplished. If I maintain discipline in training the rest of my life stays ordered, too.  I eat better, sleep better, feel better and become a better wife, mom, and person.

It's not all about me.  Sometimes it is easy to get too wrapped up in my own life.  I think this is common for athletes-pros especially who are sponsored to be successful competitors.  But I am not a pro.  I am but a mere age-grouper (an aged one at that). My competitions are basically my hobby, important for my lifestyle but not the be-all-end-all.  I hope proper perspective and structure will enable me to balance my life and shift some focus from myself to others.  With the right project maybe I will be able to tie together my takeaways of 2014 and bring about something new and exciting for 2015 and beyond.    

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
On Old long syne.

Robert Burns

The sky is the limit for 2015.

Dad in Truckee, CA c. 2007

Happy New Year!

Look Forward Not Back

The great thing about December is I get to start structured training again AND since it's still technically the "off-season", I can be relaxed about things and have fun (and drink beer).  I'm excited for 2015, as it will be a year of new adventures. I decided to switch my focus from Xterra and instead train for something I've been wanting to try for a while-the Lumberjack 100.  The LJ100 takes place in northern Michigan and is a 100 mile mountain bike race. I've never raced that distance before so it will be a very new experience for me.  I enlisted the help of a coach who specializes in endurance racing, Lynda Wallenfels of LW Coaching, who has been super helpful less than a month in. Check out LW Coaching here. In addition to the LJ100 I will do some early season, longer events as preparation. Making the switch from racing 3-4 hours in Xterra and cross-country mountain biking, to "racing" for 10 hours in a 100 miler will definitely be a challenge, but one I'm excited about.

The races I do next year aren't the only new thing for me.  I was also accepted as a Vanderkitten VIP for 2015.  Vanderkitten is a woman's athletic apparel company based in Oakland, CA that creates and sells clothing for "women who kick ass". VIPs are women athletes of all varieties from all over the world.  Founder & CEO Dave Verrecchia says “In 2006 I set out to ‘change the face of women’s cycling’ by creating a model that matched other action sports and brought excitement and attention to the potential of women’s cycling. We’ve been the leader in this movement since, and will continue to create exciting cycling apparel while diversifying our product offerings to serve our growing action sports customer base. Vanderkitten will continue to have a very visible profile in women’s cycling on the road and on the dirt.”  I am happy and proud to be included in such an amazing, inspiring group of women and to represent such an awesome brand. Check out Vanderkitten here. 

As if all this wasn't enough, I have another new challenge for 2015.  Its a project I'm working on, just in the beginning stages, so I don't want to say too much.  But you can be sure it will involve bikes, so stay tuned!

Manistee trail, home of LJ100

Merry Christmas!

Meow!

 

I'm a Captain

I think bike tire choice says a lot about a person.  I came to this realization recently while riding  my local trail with newly mounted tires.  I have a few different tires I ride depending on various factors, but mostly ride one of two different types.  During race season I like the Specialized Fast Trak.  It's a light, low profile tire that rides smooth and quick. During the fall and winter I put on Captains, a heavier tire with big lugs and good traction.  It struck me that I am a lot like my tires. During race season I am light and race ready.  I move along the trail with ease.  There is little rolling resistance to get me going as I am motivated to ride and train. 

Fast Trak

Once fall hits I stop racing and become the Captain.  I am chunky and slow.  Great effort is required to get me rolling, especially from a stand still.  My movement on the trail is cumbersome.  I can be heard from a far, with audible effort at each climb or corner giving me away. But that is okay, because that is what the off season is for.  As the Caption I will lumber along through the winter, laying groundwork to become the race ready Fast Trak version of me eventually, when it is time.

The Captain

Fall Sumac

Savor the Slow

After 9 months of focused training and racing it can be difficult to shift gears and slow things down. I still run and ride my bike, but I also do other activities I don't normally have time or energy for. This year more than others I have really been savoring these few precious months of less structure. But even though I am not training for anything specific, I still need goals and activity, so one thing I'm doing is challenging myself to run 100 miles over the month of October. Fall is the perfect time to run in Michigan.  The trails are beautiful, the weather is great for running, and bugs that can make summer trail runs miserable have disappeared.  My goal is to run 25 miles each week, and so far I'm right on track with 49 miles completed.  My body has held up surprisingly well so far, and I think it's because I am not logging these miles with any intensity, but just going at whatever pace feels comfortable for that day.  I've been able to put in some longer runs and it has felt great.

I also recently got to visit my son in Seattle. That was a great experience, as Seattle is a fun city and Washington is a gorgeous state. We saw the Sounders play, sampled area coffee shops and brew pubs, and ate at amazing restaurants.  We visited Mt. Rainier National Park and hiked up the mountain.  The view was amazing in every direction.  It was beautiful and an unforgettable experience.

Perhaps the best thing about the off-season is how it regenerates my longing for the structure of the rest of the year. I know that soon I will be thinking about training plans, nutrition and race schedules.  But for now I won't worry about that, I'll just enjoy this time and appreciate the fact that I have it.

Me, Coolie and Mt. Rainier

Hiking above tree line.

Mt. Rainier (yes, this is a real pic!)

It's been less than a week since I proclaimed the (early) end of my race season and already I'm in better spirits and feel less fatigued. This morning, with no scheduled workouts and some extra time, I was able to get out in beautiful weather and enjoy a pre-breakfast trail run.  The house was quiet as I laced my running shoes and headed off, anxious to hit the dirt.
Once in the woods I was instantly glad to be there. I took my time and ran as my mind and body told me too, stopping to appreciate beauty, or sprinting up a hill for no other reason than to feel my legs burn. I found myself lingering over the smallest of wild flowers, stopping to take a picture, then sneaking along quietly so as not to scare off a pack of wild turkeys ahead on the trail (they were too fast for me and disappeared quickly into the brush). I wondered if a bow hunter might be observing me from a lofty vantage point. My eyes scanned tree branches looking for a tree stand, thinking I might catch a glimpse. But if there, it was a presence that remained unknown to me, and my solitude felt pure and right.

The sun coming up through the trees.

I was glad. Glad to be on my favorite trail to start the day. Glad to not have to think about anything other than where to start and stop. Glad I was able to be out doing what I love. Glad to be enjoying a trail and taking my time.

Huron River at River Bend

Give Up to Gain

Sometimes doing what is right for ourselves can be the hardest thing in the world to do.  Why is that?  Deep down we may know, or have a gut feeling about what is best, but we just can't let ourselves go there.  I think for competitive endurance athletes this is especially true. The nature of endurance sport compels us to forge ahead, to keep moving, follow the plan.  So when it becomes too much it can be hard to differentiate between appropriate stress and over-stress.  I think right now I am in a state of over-stress.  I feel lethargic and down much of the time.  I have a couple good days of training, then don't want to move from horizontal for 3 days straight. My performance has been less than expected, I'm moody and out of sorts.  (I did see my doctor and we have some blood work pending, just to be sure.) So why do I keep doing all the training and racing if that is what's causing me to feel so bad? I think for the past couple of months I have been hoping things would turn around.  Hoping I just need a week of good nutrition and sleep, that it was just the last week of hard training and I would recover after a couple easy days. But that recovery hasn't come.  I'm more tired and cranky than ever, and even the thought of riding doesn't appeal to me, much less doing a race. So I've decided to end my season now and forgo my last two planned mountain bike races of the year.  It is really sad and a hard thing for me to give up. I believe what I gain in return will be greater and I will be happier, stronger, healthier and better for it.

Curve Ball

Funny how life throws us curves.  Not “ha-ha” funny but “that’s kind of weird how that happened” funny.   I guess the very nature of a curve ball is that it is unpredictable.   It upsets the balance, throws off the equilibrium and changes the course of things. For the last 9 months I’ve felt as if I have been trying to right myself from the effects of such a curve ball.   

Sometimes when we are lost we hold on to the familiar because it is what we know.  It is a comfortable touchstone that helps us find our way.  The familiar is easy when we don’t have mental energy or insight to know how to do anything else, a default setting for our brain.  My brain has been set to default since January, when my dad died unexpectedly.  The grief that came with his death has changed me in a way I never could have predicted. I continue with what I know; training and racing and travel and bikes and training and racing and more training.

It is a rough place to be in, when what sustains you is no longer fulfilling. That is where I find myself now, at the end of the 2014 race season, unfulfilled by racing and uncertain of what to do about it.  This has been a less than stellar year for me in many ways.  I guess if you race long enough there will be bad years.  The good thing is a bad year can help one prioritize and re-set.  Next year I will mix things up, try some different types of events.  I look forward to new adventures, new experiences, and a fresh start in 2015.  For now there are still a few months left in 2014, and I will do my best to make the most of them.