Give Up to Gain

Sometimes doing what is right for ourselves can be the hardest thing in the world to do.  Why is that?  Deep down we may know, or have a gut feeling about what is best, but we just can't let ourselves go there.  I think for competitive endurance athletes this is especially true. The nature of endurance sport compels us to forge ahead, to keep moving, follow the plan.  So when it becomes too much it can be hard to differentiate between appropriate stress and over-stress.  I think right now I am in a state of over-stress.  I feel lethargic and down much of the time.  I have a couple good days of training, then don't want to move from horizontal for 3 days straight. My performance has been less than expected, I'm moody and out of sorts.  (I did see my doctor and we have some blood work pending, just to be sure.) So why do I keep doing all the training and racing if that is what's causing me to feel so bad? I think for the past couple of months I have been hoping things would turn around.  Hoping I just need a week of good nutrition and sleep, that it was just the last week of hard training and I would recover after a couple easy days. But that recovery hasn't come.  I'm more tired and cranky than ever, and even the thought of riding doesn't appeal to me, much less doing a race. So I've decided to end my season now and forgo my last two planned mountain bike races of the year.  It is really sad and a hard thing for me to give up. I believe what I gain in return will be greater and I will be happier, stronger, healthier and better for it.